Had I Known How to Save a Life
by Miles Above My Head
Summary: Natara's husband, the love of her life, dies a month before her child is born. Can her best friend step in and assume the role of "daddy"? Or will their differences and past tear them apart?
1. Prologue: Taking on the World Together

**Hey everyone! (: I wrote this during math class today when I decided to not pay attention once again and thought "hey instead of planning stories I'm gonna write..I should start writing, duh!". Lol so here you go, I'm actually currently working on ch2 (this is the prologue) so yeah, I'll have more up soon. For the baby, I tried to combine some baby names that were suggested for the other story. :) you'll see. And also I was wondering if you liked that contest-ish sort of thing I did? I was thinking about doing a voting one next. If you wanted to of course. ^_^ I was thinking you could vote on one of these names for me: Taylor, Arianna, Brooke, or Lea. Tell me which you like the most! Thanks, you're the best and I hope you like my new story! I do(;**

"Please Nat?" he pleaded. "We have to find out eventually; we need to decorate the room!"

"Oh, can't we be surprised? Please?" Natara begged her husband. "We can buy neutral-colored decorations for the room."

Oscar sighed. He would never win. "Fine. I'll go out and pick up some things to start decorating. White and yellow?" She nodded happily. "Call if you need me."

Not five minutes later, Natara picked up her vibrating phone. She smiled when she saw the familiar number: her best friend and work partner, Mal.

"Hey, Mal," she answered casually. "What's up?"

"Natara!" came his frantic voice over sirens blaring. "Natara, I'm coming to get you. Don't panic, but Oscar's been shot."

She felt her phone slip from her hand and land with a dull thud on the carpet.

She heard Mal's voice trying toget her to answer, worried about her.

She felt a kick against her eight month pregnant belly that her hand was resting against, but none of it registered.

She was already running out the door.

Luckily, she didn't get too far before Mal grabbed her.

"I knew you'd panic so I didn't call until I was close," he explained. "Now c'mon, he's at the hospital. We gotta hurry!"

But Oscar wasn't at the hospital. Maybe his body was there, but he himself wasn't present. He never would be anywhere on the earth again.

He had been shot directly in the heart.


	2. Chapter 1: Darling, Don't Be Afraid

**Sorry for not posting this, I've had it done awhile now, I'm just too lazy to type it up ..(until now). And I've had a lot going on at school and with family and I'm not having a very good week. :/ lol I'd tell you all about it but no need to hear my life story when there's a chapter here that you've been dying to read...I hope. Lolll(: Well anyway I was writing this partially in math class, partially in english, and partially at home listening to music, hence all the song lyrics being titles for this story XD I have a new story up, its called Forever the Name on my Lips and I have the whole thing all planned out and if it comes out properly how I picture it, it'll be very dramatic and suspenseful (and heartbreaking, you're all going to hate me.) XD That's cool though, I need something to get away from all these stories about Mal and Natara falling in love and happily ever afters and all. I love those, but I wanted a bit of a change. XD sorry for the shortness of this btw. Honestly, I've had a lot going on in my life lately and it hasn't been fun, so anyway I hope this holds you over till I feel like typing up the next chapter that's in my notebook :D enjoyyyy..I hope. ;D**

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><p>Natara sat up in the bed, her face pale. Reassured by Mal standing nearby, she relaxed a bit. This had never been her strong point..<em>hospitals<em>.

"Boy or girl?" she whispers.

Mal's eyes glisten with proud tears as he answers, "Girl."

She manages a smile and asks, "Is she pretty?"

"She looks just like you," he brushes hair out of her face. "She has your eyes. She's beautiful."

"I can't do it," Natara whispers, avoiding his eyes. "Mal, I can't take care of a baby."

"Shh Nat," he takes her hand. "We'll do it. I won't leave you alone."

Natara nods and he adds, "What's her name?"

She pauses. "Logan. Logan Rose."

"Logan Rose will be the most loved baby in the world," Mal promises.

"Thank you Mal," she squeezes his hand.

The doctor knocks and enters, holding a bundle in his arms.

"Ms. Williams," he says kindly. "Your baby girl."

Tears spill over as Natara takes the baby from him.

"Hello Logan Rose," whispers Natara.

"Welcome to the world," Mal finishes.

They stare down at the baby in silent awe as the doctor snaps a photo for them. Natara smiles,

"Welcome to the world."


	3. Chapter 2: Nothing But Missing You

**Hey guys, thanks for all of the AMAZING reviews. I never got so many reviews before I don't think. :) I appreciate them all! I'm seriously sincerely sorry about how my chapters are constantly so short lately... I feel really bad about it. I'll try to make the next one longer!**

**Btw thanks for all being so understanding and caring! I love you all so much c:**

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><p>"Mal, you really don't need to do this."<p>

He hauled in another box and frowned, "Nat, she's officially as much my daughter as yours. I will be a good father to her whether you like it or not."

She smiled, "Just making sure. You know, I really do appreciate this. I didn't think I'd be able to handle it, after Osc-"

A baby's cry rang out from the other room and Natara sighed and went to see what the matter was, leaving Mal to unpack.

When she returned, Mal said quickly, "So I've got most of the boxes unpacked, got some toys over there for when Logan wakes up, got your first therapy session scheduled, and I'm going to go get-"

"What did you just say?" she demanded.

"Which bit? About being unpacked? Or…"

"No, I'm not going to therapy. I know how to handle death."

"Oh," Mal shrugged. "That. You don't really have a choice. See, I'm making you. Plus, doctor's orders."

"Mal, I work for the FBI. I'm somewhat of an expert on death."

Mal shook his head, "No, you're going. End of conversation."

"I miss him…_so_ much," she whispered embarrassed.

Mal pulled her close and hugged her, "We'll be okay…

…I promise."


	4. Chapter 3: I'd Lie

**That's the most reviews I've EVER gotten on a story (19) so THANK YOU SO SO SO SO SO SO much! I don't even like this story lmao I just updated because I figure you've waited long enough. ;P I'd actually prefer to be working on my other newer stories in progress. :) but enjoy anywayy!**

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><p>Mal watched Natara gently breathing, having dozed off in a recliner in their living room. She murmured quietly in her sleep, "Oscar..Oscar!"<p>

Two months and eight therapy sessions later, she still dreamt of him every night.

Mal walked over and took her hand, causing a smile to spread across her peaceful face. Her whispers changed slowly to "Mal, Mal,…Mal."

He cringed. This happened most nights. Nothing was as painful as being in love with someone he could _never_ have. She could never know he'd secretly loved her for a year now. Never.

He thought about how weird it'd be if she knew he was doing all this not because they were best friends, but because he loved her.

Of course, it was already awkward.

There was that kiss – that _one _kiss – that made him doubt everything. Because it was her who'd kissed him, the day before her wedding.

"I just had to know," she'd said blushing. "I had to be sure…"

Logan's cry rang out from the nursery. Mal dropped Natara's hand and left to check on her.

He didn't see the way her sleeping face fell.

Mall scooped up his sobbing, adopted daughter of two months and began to rock her.

"Shh Logan," he whispered. "Daddy's here. It's okay."

The infant calmed down almost instantly and he sat with her in the rocking chair in the corner.

"You're okay, Logan Rose," Mal whispered. "Safe and sound. You're very pretty, Logan." The baby blinked up at him sleepily. "You have your momma's eyes, you know that? You're a very special baby."

Mal began to quietly sing to the child he'd come to love.

"Just close your eyes, the sun is going down. You'll be alright, no one can hurt you now. Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound…"

A tear trickled down Natara's cheek as she listened form behind the closed door.

Logan was now asleep but Mal kept telling her every secret he'd kept to himself for so long.

"…and your mommy, I've loved her for the longest time now. It's hard you know? Loving your best friend. But it's wonderful too. One day, you'll fall in love sweetie. Then you'll know how I feel about your mommy."

Natara stood speechless, barely breathing, being crushed by the feelings that had, for so long, been unable to escape. She just had to listen to her heart. But she knew she would be too scared to ever love again.

"If you asked me if I loved him..," she said, barely audible. "I'd lie."


	5. Chapter 4: Drive Me Crazy Half the Time

"Mal, she's crying again! Please, just one more time?"

"Nat it was funny the first 12 times," he walked into the nursery. "Now it's just plain scary."

"Aww, you're scared that big tough Mal Fallon is actually loveable?" Natara laughed.

"Of course I'm loveable," he took the baby from her. "Who couldn't love this adorable face?"

Logan looked up at him and immediately stopped crying, making Natara laugh.

"Every time she sees your face…!"

"Let's not speak of it," he groaned. "Listen kid, this used to be cute but now it's just…just…" He looked down at Logan's big, pleading eyes and his face softened. "Okay, it's still adorable."

Natara smiled, "Face it Mal, she's just got you wrapped around her finger."

Logan grabbed Mal's finger in her hand and he smiled. Natara put her hand on top and lightly kissed Mal on the cheek before walking out.

Mal looked down at the giggling baby in his arms. "What'd you tell her shorty?"

Logan just giggled again and Mal smiled, "Yeah, yeah. I tell you one secret to keep between us…"

"What Mal?" Natara reappeared in the doorway.

"Nothing! Just chatting with my BFF Logan!" he joked.

"Aww see Logan? He does love you!"

"Yeah, let's not spread the word…"

She smiled and wrapped her arms around them, joining them all together in a family hug.

Mal yawned. "Well that's enough mushy-togetherness and family bonding for tonight."

"I'll put her to bed," Natara replied.

"Okay I'm gonna go through some of my boxes."

He was rifling through a dusty box piled with old photos when she approached silently, laying a hand on his shoulder.

"You're amazing, you know that?" Natara whispered.

"What? Me? Why?" he turned around.

"You're…an amazing father."

Mal eyed her closely. "How're you doing?"

"Fine..? Oh you mean about..? I-I'm coping. I figure he'd want me to be happy and he'd want Logan to be happy…even if he couldn't be a part of it. Some days I miss him so much. But on better days, I know I'm strong and I feel..ready. You know?"

Mal nodded, remembering Tasha's death.

She took a step closer to him. "And if he'd want me to be happy, I should be, shouldn't I? And I definitely want Logan to be happy. Mal, this just isn't _right_!"

"What isn't right?"

"You and I raising a baby together. That's not something normal friends do!"

"Wait, what do you…" Mal trailed off uncomfortably.

"Mal what I'm trying to say is all along I thought I loved Oscar as a boyfriend and you as a best friend, but if I'm honest with myself, I had it backwards. I kissed you before my wedding, remember that? I had to know if I really loved you as more than a friend, like I was suspecting. Mal, the truth is I did, I do, and I always will."

**THE END.**


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